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16 July 2010 @ 07:08 pm
Twilight Chaper 10 Part 2  
Okay, starting from the beginning. Hallos to all you peoples! I have returned, through rain, sleet and snow -or the RL equivalents anyway (moving house, having no nets and massive drama llamas) to bring you the second half of the Twilight MST: chapter 10.

This is so late I am not even going to bother excusing it, except to say that you can all thank Silver Pard, who is one of my all-time favourite fanfic authors and reminded me that this was still running at all. If you're Silver Pard and reading this OMG I WANTS UR BABIEZ!!1! thanks very much for the reminder (and also for writing one of the best Twilight-related things ever).

Okay, now that's out of the way, let's dive right in. To celebrate the kick-start of my MST, I have with me today Light, from Death Note:

Light: Just when I thought I'd escaped, she drags me back. Damn you, Silver Pard!

and the Master, from Doctor Who.

the Master: *lip curls* You can't do anything without me, can you?

Welcome back to the MST, everyone -abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

I would recommend you at least run your eyes over the last half-chapter to remind yourselves of recent events, but there's not really all that much of a need. Nothing has happened. We are more than ten chapters into this book and not a single thing has happened that will bring the plot forward in any sense, meaningful or otherwise. I haven't even started reading yet and I already hate this book again.

She didn't get a chance to start on the subject again during class, and
as soon as the bell rang, I took evasive action.

EmeryBoard: Quick! Use active metaphors to create the illusion of drama!

the Master: Oh, stop complaining. I don't remember it being all that - 

"In English, Mike asked me if you said anything about Monday night," I
told her.

"You're kidding! What did you say?!" she gasped, completely sidetracked.

the Master: . . .

Light: You were saying?

the Master: Did that woman actually use an question mark and an exclamation point together? In a published book? For a simple question?!

EmeryBoard: Like you're doing now?

the Master: Firstly, this is an online review. Secondly, this is an angry question rather than a simple query. Thirdly, there is genuine need to convey how much I want to -

EmeryBoard: Back to the story, people!

Light: What story?

EmeryBoard: *facepalm* Goddamn evil geniuses . . .

"I told him you said you had a lot of fun — he looked pleased."

"Tell me exactly what he said, and your exact answer!"

the Master: And I want to kill the Doctor until he dies from it!

Light: We really need to start up a redundancy count.

We spent the rest of the walk dissecting sentence structures and most of
Spanish on a minute description of Mike's facial expressions.

Light: "Well, he asked me out first, but he totally wanted you for his back-up date!"

I wouldn't have helped draw it out for as long as I did if I wasn't worried about
the subject returning to me.

EmeryBoard: No, we are not going there. Don't you even start Bella. Stop pretending you are some sort of shy, retiring flower. What you are is a passive-aggressive coward who's too afraid of people and their opinions to express any of your inner bitchiness outside your own head. I did not come back to have my intelligence insulted!

Light: Who do you think you're kidding? That's exactly why you come back and you know it.

the Master: Half the fun is seeing how long it takes to break you.

And then the bell rang for lunch.

EmeryBoard: Unless you are writing in Arabic or Yiddish, sentences should not start with 'and', especially not when they are seven words long. SMeyers, learn to say things better.

As I jumped up out of my seat, shoving my books roughly in my bag,
my uplifted expression must have tipped Jessica off.

Light: 'my uplifted expression'?

EmeryBoard: Let it go, man. We're not even a quarter done yet.

"You're not sitting with us today, are you?" she guessed.

"I don't think so." I couldn't be sure that he wouldn't disappear
inconveniently again. But outside the door to our Spanish class,
leaning against the wall —looking more like a Greek god than
anyone had a right to

EmeryBoard: Which Greek god? Be specific, Bella. Pan had the hind legs of a goat and Hephaestus was an unattractive cripple.

the Master: Imagining Edward downing a bottle of wine before running off to chase wood nymphs is rather appealing.

EmeryBoard: Mmmm . . . wine . . .

— Edward was waiting for me.

Edward-O-Meter: 042

Jessica took one look, rolled her eyes, and departed.

Light: The more intelligent readers followed her example.

"See you later, Bella." Her voice was thick with implications.

EmeryBoard: I just tried to imagine what a voice 'thick with implications' must sound like, only for my brain to head straight for 'slutty cheerleader'.

I might have to turn off the ringer on the phone.

the Master: Why? Lest someone who is supposed to be your friend actually take an interest in your laughably titled love life?

Light: Bella Swan: Mistress of the Passive Aggressive.

"Hello." His voice was amused and irritated at the same time. He had been
listening, it was obvious.

Light: In a realistic world, a woman other than Misa would be annoyed by this invasion of privacy.


the Master: Maybe she's Misa in disguise.

EmeryBoard: That's impossible! Misa allows the man of her affections to get away with anything and supports him whatever his ambitions and appears to have no friends outside Light . . . oh . . .

Light: I need to make a phone call.

I couldn't think of anything else to say, and he didn't speak — biding
his time, I presumed — so it was a quiet walk to the cafeteria. Walking
with Edward through the crowded lunchtime rush was a lot like my first
day here; everyone stared.

EmeryBoard: What is this, Clichéd Teenage Movie 3? I know everyone dreams of drawing all eyes, but Edward has been attending school there for who knows how long. At some point, the awed adoration of his marble Adonis-ness has got to wear off.

Light: *on phone* Misa? Misa, where are you?

He led the way into the line, still not speaking, though his eyes
returned to my face every few seconds, their expression speculative. It
seemed to me that irritation was winning out over amusement as the
dominant emotion in his face.

the Master: Rassilon and the Other preserve us.

EmeryBoard: I have run out of clever things to say about her appalling grammar and sentence structure. I repeat; SMeyers, learn to say things better.

Light: *on phone* You're filming a movie? They made you dye your hair brown? You're acting beside a sparkling man?

EmeryBoard: Tamaki from Ouran Host Club?

the Master: She really knows how to pick them.

I fidgeted nervously with the zipper on my

He stepped up to the counter and filled a tray with food.

the Master: What kind of food? Poisoned food, right? Please, tell me there's poison in them.

"What are you doing?" I objected. "You're not getting all that for me?"

EmeryBoard: That depends. Does poison kill vampires?

He shook his head, stepping forward to buy the food.

"Half is for me, of course."

Light: Apparently not.

I raised one eyebrow.

He led the way to the same place we'd sat that one time before. From the
other end of the long table, a group of seniors gazed at us in amazement
as we sat across from each other. Edward seemed oblivious.

the Master: "Should I snap her neck in front of everyone, or offer to walk her home and drain her body in the woods?"

"Take whatever you want," he said, pushing the tray toward me.

Light: "It doesn't matter. Everything is poisoned anyway."

"I'm curious," I said as I picked up an apple, turning it around in my
hands, "what would you do if someone dared you to eat food?"

"You're always curious." He grimaced, shaking his head.

Light: "I hate the taste of cyanide. Why do you make me do these things?"

He glared at me,

the Master: And quite rightly too. How dare she question her master?

EmeryBoard: For my own sake, I am going to assume that was meant as a joke.

Light: Really? Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

holding my eyes as he lifted the slice of pizza off the tray, and
deliberately bit off a mouthful, chewed quickly, and then swallowed. I
watched, eyes wide.


the Master: Be fair. He's a vampire, so eating pizza is highly atypical.

EmeryBoard: I'll be fair when she's creative, and not before.

"If someone dared you to eat dirt, you could, couldn't you?" he asked

EmeryBoard: SMeyer will stop pointing this out fairly quickly, as even she realised that ending every statement of Edward's with 'condescendingly' might be over-doing it.

I wrinkled my nose. "I did once… on a dare," I admitted. "It wasn't so

He laughed. "I suppose I'm not surprised."

Light: You can almost see the wheels turning in this guys head. If she'll swallow dirt -


Something over my shoulder seemed to catch his attention.

"Jessica's analyzing everything I do — she'll break it down for you
later." He pushed the rest of the pizza toward me. The mention of Jessica
brought a hint of his former irritation back to his features.

EmeryBoard: I like her better and better every moment.

I put down the apple and took a bite of the pizza, looking away, knowing
he was about to start.

the Master: "Just . . . hit me in the stomach, okay? The bruises won't show then."

Light: No need. The poison from the pizza should be kicking in any time now . . .

"So the waitress was pretty, was she?" he asked casually.

"You really didn't notice?"

Light: Any time . . .

"No. I wasn't paying attention. I had a lot on my mind."

"Poor girl." I could afford to be generous now.

Light: Aaaany second now . . .

"Something you said to Jessica… well, it bothers me."


He refused to be distracted. His voice was husky, and he
glanced up from under his lashes with troubled eyes.

Edward-O-Meter: 043

EmeryBoard: *bursts out laughing* Is that supposed to be sexy or just ridiculously effeminate?

"I'm not surprised you heard something you didn't like. You know what
they say about eavesdropners," I reminded him.

the Master: 'eavesdropners'?

EmeryBoard: I'm going to be charitable and assume that's an error with my .txt copy.

"I warned you I would be listening."

Light: Warning the victim of a crime about to be committed does not make it any less of a crime. Or in this case, any less of a creepy, disturbingly invasive breach of ethics.

"And I warned you that you didn't want to know everything I was thinking."

"You did," he agreed, but his voice was still rough. "You aren't
precisely right, though. I do want to know what you're thinking —
everything. I just wish… that you wouldn't be thinking some things."

EmeryBoard. Dear God and all twelve tiers of angels. Is he really trying to exert control over her thoughts?!

the Master: It's harder than you'd think.

EmeryBoard: . . .

I scowled. "That's quite a distinction."

"But that's not really the point at the moment."

"Then what is?" We were inclined toward each other across the table now.
He had his large white hands folded under his chin; I leaned forward, my
right hand cupped around my neck. I had to remind myself that we were in
a crowded lunchroom, with probably many curious eyes on us. It was too
easy to get wrapped up in our own private, tense little bubble.

"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?" he
murmured, leaning closer to me as he spoke, his dark golden eyes piercing.

Edward-O-Meter: 044

EmeryBoard: Okay, time out. How long have these guys known each other?

the Master: Umm . . . a few days to a week, I think.

EmeryBoard: And how much of that time have they spend together?

the Master: Not a great deal. Mostly, Eddy-kins has been ignoring her while Bella stalks him from afar.

EmeryBoard: It's . . . whoa, it's like Light and Misa's relationship all over again.

Light: Excuse me? I distinctly remember telling Misa that not only was I unable to love her just from one meeting, but she was in love with the idea of Kira rather than Yagami Light. I am nothing like this . . . individual.

EmeryBoard: And when your relationship is making Light and Misa look well-balanced, you have a problem.

I tried to remember how to exhale. I had to look away before it came back
to me.

the Master: She should have kept looking.

Light: We should be that lucky.

"You're doing it again," I muttered.

His eyes opened wide with surprise. "What?"

"Dazzling me," I admitted, trying to concentrate as I looked back at him.

Mystery: See ya!

Romance: Wait for me!

"Oh." He frowned.

"It's not your fault," I sighed. "You can't help it."

EmeryBoard: "Just like the savage beatings you give me."

"Are you going to answer the question?"

I looked down. "Yes."

"Yes, you are going to answer, or yes, you really think that?" He was
irritated again.

the Master: *eyeroll* Fear the blood-drinking fairy.

"Yes, I really think that." I kept my eyes down on the table, my eyes
tracing the pattern of the faux wood grains printed on the laminate.

EmeryBoard: Much as I hate to admit it, I actually like this. It has enough detail to paint a startlingly clear picture without bogging the reader down.

Light: Damned with faint praise, anyone?

*small snip for irritating atttempts to pretend this relationship is founded on True Love or Mutual Interests and God, how long until this chapter just finishes already?*

I shook my head sadly. "You've never seen me in Gym, I guess, but I would
have thought you would understand."

"Are you referring to the fact that you can't walk across a flat, stable
surface without finding something to trip over?"

EmeryBoard: Bwahahaha! If I didn't know better, I'd say these sort of comments were subtle signs that SMeyers is a massive troll.


"That wouldn't be a problem." He was very confident. "It's all in the
leading." He could see that I was about to protest, and he cut me off.

the Master: I will be the head of the priesthood in this household and lead you into our sealed in the temple for eternity marriage.

EmeryBoard: When did you become an expert on the Mormon religion?

the Master: It's more entertaining reading than Twilight.

EmeryBoard: Point.

"But you never told me — are you resolved on going to Seattle, or do you
mind if we do something different?"

As long as the "we" part was in, I didn't care about anything else.

EmeryBoard: . . .

Light: . . .

the Master: . . .

EmeryBoard: So many different responses, so little character space.

Light: Personally, I'd just be happy if a gag was involved.

"I'm open to alternatives," I allowed. "But I do have a favor to ask."

He looked wary, as he always did when I asked an open-ended question.

"Can I drive?"

He frowned. "Why?"

"Well, mostly because when I told Charlie I was going to Seattle, he
specifically asked if I was going alone and, at the time, I was. If he
asked again, I probably wouldn't lie, but I don't think he will ask
again, and leaving my truck at home would just bring up the subject
unnecessarily. And also, because your driving frightens me."

Light: Going to an unknown location with a man you've known for a week or less without telling anyone isn't just stupid, it's wilfully idiotic. And that's not even taking into account the whole "vampire" thing.  

He rolled his eyes. "Of all the things about me that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving." He shook his head in disgust,

EmeryBoard: Sometimes, it's hard to hate Edward.

but then his eyes were serious again. "Won't you want to tell your father that you're
spending the day with me?" There was an undercurrent to his question that
I didn't understand.

the Master: "Just how dumb are you?"

"With Charlie, less is always more." I was definite about that.

EmeryBoard: What? Why? Do you not want him to know about Edward? Does he not care? Do you have a restricted number of words you can use with him each day? WHY?!

"Where are we going, anyway?"

"The weather will be nice, so I'll be staying out of the public eye… and
you can stay with me, if you'd like to." Again, he was leaving the choice
up to me.

Light: And the fact that this is worth remarking upon is one of saddest things in this book.

the Master: So far . . .

"And you'll show me what you meant, about the sun?" I asked, excited by
the idea of unraveling another of the unknowns.

EmeryBoard: Trust me, it's not nearly as interesting as you're imagining.

the Master: Or mysterious, or intriguing or even mildly entertaining.

Light: Are you kidding? I have never laughed so hard at pseudo-seriousness in my life.

"Yes." He smiled, and then paused. "But if you don't want to be… alone
with me, I'd still rather you didn't go to Seattle by yourself. I shudder
to think of the trouble you could find in a city that size."

Light: Considering she apparently found the one rape gang in the little town you visited a couple of chapters ago, that's probably a legitimate concern. 

I was miffed. "Phoenix is three times bigger than Seattle — just in
population. In physical size —"

"But apparently," he interrupted me, "your number wasn't up in Phoenix.

EmeryBoard: Does Edward have to smack a bitch?

So I'd rather you stayed near me." His eyes did that unfair smoldering
thing again.

Edward-O-Meter: 045

I couldn't argue, with the eyes or the motivation, and it was a moot
point anyway. "As it happens, I don't mind being alone with you."

"I know," he sighed, brooding. "You should tell Charlie, though."

EmeryBoard: Wait, when did Mr. Swan become "Charlie" to this guy?

"Why in the world would I do that?"

Light: Che, it's not like he's my father or anything.

His eyes were suddenly fierce. "To give me some small incentive to bring
you back."

I gulped. But, after a moment of thought, I was sure. "I think I'll take
my chances."

He exhaled angrily, and looked away.

EmeryBoard: This is where I call shenanigans. Edward is one hundred years old, and has the power to read minds. Even if he can't read Bella's mind specifically, he has to know enough about the psychology of the average teenage girl to know that everything he said is going to almost guarantee her refusal to tell Charlie.
If he really wanted her father to know, he'd either insist on it with Bella or tell the man himself. Failing either of those options -there are these wonderful inventions called chaperones. The chaperone doesn't even have to be a human, if you're worried about everyone knowing you wear glitter on sunny days. Get the wonderfully good and wholesome Carlisle to go with you, since he's the reason you don't nom people. I don't care what magical secret you want to show her; if you can't control yourself with her while you're alone then you shouldn't be alone with her.

"Let's talk about something else," I suggested.

Light: *sideways look at Emery* Yes, let's . . .

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked. He was still annoyed.

EmeryBoard: Ditto.

I glanced around us, making sure we were well out of anyone's hearing. As
I cast my eyes around the room, I caught the eyes of his sister, Alice,
staring at me.

Light: I foresee . . . you will fall over some time in the next minutes. And also whine a lot.

the Master: So she's not so much a psychic as she is aware of how annoying Bella is?

The others were looking at Edward. I looked away swiftly,
back to him, and I asked the first thing that came to mind.

"Why did you go to that Goat Rocks place last weekend… to hunt? Charlie
said it wasn't a good place to hike, because of bears."

He stared at me as if I was missing something very obvious.

EmeryBoard: Because you did. Also, I hate you. I cannot repeat this often enough: SMeyers, learn to say stuff better.

"Bears?" I gasped, and he smirked. "You know, bears are not in season," I
added sternly, to hide my shock.

"If you read carefully, the laws only cover hunting with weapons," he
informed me.

He watched my face with enjoyment as that slowly sank in.

"Bears?" I repeated with difficulty.

"Grizzly is Emmett's favorite." His voice was still offhand, but his eyes
were scrutinizing my reaction. I tried to pull myself together.

"Hmmm," I said, taking another bite of pizza as an excuse to look down. I
chewed slowly, and then took a long drink of Coke without looking up.

"So," I said after a moment, finally meeting his now-anxious gaze.
"What's your favorite?"

He raised an eyebrow and the corners of his mouth turned down in
disapproval. "Mountain lion."

"Ah," I said in a politely disinterested tone, looking for my soda again.

"Of course," he said, and his tone mirrored mine, "we have to be careful
not to impact the environment with injudicious hunting.

Light: Aren't mountain lions endangered?

the Master: Well, now we know why.

We try to focus
on areas with an overpopulation of predators — ranging as far away as we
need. There's always plenty of deer and elk here, and they'll do, but
where's the fun in that?" He smiled teasingly.

EmeryBoard: An overpopulation of predators tends to deal with itself very efficiently, with no help from sparkly fairies. What you're saying here is that you hunt endangered species for the lols.

"Where indeed," I murmured around another bite of pizza.

"Early spring is Emmett's favorite bear season — they're just coming out
of hibernation, so they're more irritable." He smiled at some remembered

"Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear," I agreed, nodding.

EmeryBoard: Except maybe Cass after she's just emerged from hibernation.

Cass: Hey!

He snickered, shaking his head. "Tell me what you're really thinking,

the Master: At least he used his manners this time.

"I'm trying to picture it — but I can't," I admitted. "How do you hunt a
bear without weapons?"

EmeryBoard: "We glitter at them. Then, once they're blinded and can't run away, we read them Twilight. Most of them choose to commit suicide by the end of the first chapter."

"Oh, we have weapons." He flashed his bright teeth in a brief,
threatening smile. I fought back a shiver before it could expose me.
"Just not the kind they consider when writing hunting laws. If you've
ever seen a bear attack on television, you should be able to visualize
Emmett hunting."

Light: How does that help? Do they fight like bears? These Meyerpires have no fangs and no claws, and no thick pelt to protect them. They don't even have slightly elongated canines. How can visualising a bear attack possibly help you visualise how a humanoid would hunt?

EmeryBoard: I still say they get Twilighted to death.

I couldn't stop the next shiver that flashed down my spine. I peeked
across the cafeteria toward Emmett, grateful that he wasn't looking my
way. The thick bands of muscle that wrapped his arms and torso were
somehow even more menacing now.

Edward followed my gaze and chuckled. I stared at him, unnerved.

"Are you like a bear, too?" I asked in a low voice.

the Master: Emmett is like a bear? Where did that assumption come from?

EmeryBoard: Maybe he looks like a shaved bear?

"More like the lion, or so they tell me," he said lightly.

Light: Who exactly are 'they?' His Blood-Drinking Anonymous group?

EmeryBoard: That does sound like a personality analysis experiment. "All right everyone, I want you to think about yourselves and which animal you most identify with. Then we'll discuss them with the group and everyone can give their feedback."

"Perhaps our preferences are indicative."

I tried to smile. "Perhaps," I repeated. But my mind was filled with
opposing images that I couldn't merge together. "Is that something I
might get to see?"

"Absolutely not!" His face turned even whiter than usual, and his eyes
were suddenly furious. I leaned back, stunned and — though I'd never
admit it to him — frightened by his reaction. He leaned back as well,
folding his arms across his chest.

EmeryBoard: Well, it's been a whole five minutes without a drastic mood change, so I guess we're overdue on an overreaction of some sort.

"Too scary for me?" I asked when I could control my voice again.

"If that were it, I would take you out tonight," he said, his voice
cutting. "You need a healthy dose of fear. Nothing could be more
beneficial for you."

the Master: Give up, little Eddy. If knowing you watch her sleep at night isn't going to do it, you're stuck with her.

Light: Unless you do us all a favour and just eat her already.

"Then why?" I pressed, trying to ignore his angry expression.

He glared at me for a long minute.

"Later," he finally said. He was on his feet in one lithe movement.
"We're going to be late."

EmeryBoard: "Because every conversation we have must be on my terms." I'm right back to hating Edward again, no surprise there.

I glanced around, startled to see that he was right and the cafeteria was
nearly vacant. When I was with him, the time and the place were such a
muddled blur that I completely lost track of both. I jumped up, grabbing
my bag from the back of my chair.

"Later, then," I agreed. I wouldn't forget.

EmeryBoard: Neither will we, more's the pity.

Well, there we go. Hope you guys enjoyed. The next one should be up by this time next week, if my schedule stays about the same.

Edward-O-Meter: 045

Chapter 11, Part 1

Tags: ,
The natives are: accomplishedaccomplished
Basilacres_and_acres on July 16th, 2010 10:01 am (UTC)
I do love that line "If she'll swallow dirt-" and now I'm incredibly curious to see if the misspelling is actually in the book. Of course I'll have to actually find a copy again.
Emma: Death Note: Livejournalemeryboard on July 17th, 2010 03:01 am (UTC)
I wasn't sure if it was me or the actual book, so I figured I'd leave it in, just in case. It certainly wouldn't surprise me to know that her editor didn't actually check any of her tripe. I know I wouldn't have.
wissywig on July 16th, 2010 11:59 am (UTC)
Don't you even start Bella. Stop pretending you are some sort of shy, retiring flower. What you are is a passive-aggressive coward who's too afraid of people and their opinions to express any of your inner bitchiness outside your own head.

WORD. Good grief she annoys me. I fail to see how anyone involved in this mess thought that she was a sympathetic heroine. Most of the time I want her to just STFU, when I'm not dying to hit her over the head with a clue bat.

On the one hand, I'm glad to see you back here doing this. On the other...you have my deepest sympathies. I've seen quite a few MSTs of this and I don't think anyone has made it past Chapter 10. No kidding.
Emma: Arctic Fox: evilemeryboard on July 17th, 2010 03:05 am (UTC)
I think I hate Bella more than Edward, when all's said and done. At least we don't have to hear everything that goes on in Edward's head.
wissywig on July 17th, 2010 05:03 pm (UTC)
Ugh...then whatever you do, don't read Midnight Sun! lol
Emma: Arctic Fox: help me?emeryboard on July 18th, 2010 03:26 am (UTC)
That made me lol and cry all at the same time. So very much chagrin . . .
Meovaraapsteeltje on July 16th, 2010 08:39 pm (UTC)
Oh my God, ILU. My month has been pretty bad so far and this was /exactly/ what I needed to make it better. (Well, this and discovering Adam Lambert.)
My favourite part has got to be this:

"How do you hunt a bear without weapons?"

EmeryBoard: "We glitter at them. Then, once they're blinded and can't run away, we read them Twilight. Most of them choose to commit suicide by the end of the first chapter."

My laptop nearly fell off my lap, I was laughing so hard.
Thank you for making my month! :)
Emma: ZRandom: stickmenemeryboard on July 17th, 2010 03:08 am (UTC)
*bows* Thank you very much -it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, probably because I tried not to actually read any of the actual fic. I fear that it may rapidly go downhill though . . .
(Anonymous) on July 16th, 2010 09:00 pm (UTC)

yay :D moar :D
(Anonymous) on July 17th, 2010 01:39 pm (UTC)
Silver Pard is watching you
...and does not want babies, but I'll take more MST, because when it doesn't break my brain, it gives me ideas. Terrible but quite interesting ideas.

So it turns out that I am indeed reading this, but since I don't have an LJ account, you'll have to take my word for it. Or you could request a fic and see if something turns up, I guess; I like writing gift fic, but the last time I offered it was turned down... *shrugs*

(I can't quite believe you've managed to get this far. By the time I reached chapter six I'd stopped practising my proofreading and was just wondering about the most spectacular way to burn it...

And Light, you know you love any excuse to be in the limelight.)
Emmaemeryboard on July 18th, 2010 03:34 am (UTC)
Re: Silver Pard is watching you
*salutes* Your MSTing request is my command!

I shall indeed take your word for it, although I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't request a fic. I would love anything Rufus/Reno, if you're in the mood for it. If not, I'd still love anything remotely crackful, since I have no idea what your opinion on that particular pairing is.

Trust me, it's hard. It's not so bad when it's controversial and rage-inducing, but half of it is just so *boring* and predictable and you just want it all to stop . . .

Thankfully, that's when having co-hosts to inflict this stuff on really comes in handy ;D
(Anonymous) on July 18th, 2010 04:20 pm (UTC)
Re: Silver Pard is watching you
Rufus/Reno, huh? Sure, I can do that. Even if I absolutely hated the pairing I'd still write it because, hey, gift fic and it's not much of a gift if I put limits on it.

That said, I'm best with the original game/AC movie, so I hope you don't mind if I play to my meagre strengths.

Personally, I'm not sure whether to be crushed or elated by Twilight's success. It depends on my mood. If a piece of crap like that can make it to print there is either hope for everyone out there trying to get published... or no hope at all for anything intelligent.
Emmaemeryboard on July 21st, 2010 12:18 am (UTC)
Re: Silver Pard is watching you
Thanks so much -honestly, the game/AC universe is the only one I'm familiar with, so that's perfect. I really must play Crisis Core at some point.

What really annoys me is the way every lecture on writing I've attended says to expect rejection for even the most awesome manuscript, and then this tripe is published with no worries.
wissywig on July 17th, 2010 05:08 pm (UTC)
EmeryBoard: Back to the story, people!

Light: What story?

He has a point.
Emma: Arctic Fox: confusedemeryboard on July 18th, 2010 03:35 am (UTC)
There truly is no plot to this entire story. It's just 300 pages of vampires sniffing at Bella's ass. I hate SMeyers so much.
what a catch.rocketgirl2 on July 19th, 2010 03:03 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm so glad you're back with this! It's fantastic as always, and if I quoted every bit that made me snorfle, we'd be here all day (and I'd go over LJ's character limit, most likely).
That said,
the Master: Not a great deal. Mostly, Eddy-kins has been ignoring her while Bella stalks him from afar.

EmeryBoard: It's . . . whoa, it's like Light and Misa's relationship all over again.

Light: Excuse me? I distinctly remember telling Misa that not only was I unable to love her just from one meeting, but she was in love with the idea of Kira rather than Yagami Light. I am nothing like this . . . individual.

EmeryBoard: And when your relationship is making Light and Misa look well-balanced, you have a problem.

was absolutely hilarious. And as awesome as Light was in Death Note, I don't think I have ever loved him more. XD
Doesn't he have enough on Eddie to kill him now? Please?
Talisha Hibdon: uh uh uh uhfrodolass on July 21st, 2010 09:38 pm (UTC)
Interesting. Would the Death Note even work on a vampire? What the hell is unlife anyway? Shinigami live of the remaining lifetime, but since vampires are the immortal dead...
what a catch.rocketgirl2 on July 22nd, 2010 08:06 pm (UTC)
That's...a good question. I guess you couldn't kill them by heart attack, since they don't really have heartbeats. I wonder if Light could do something that would cause Edward to die, though. It takes dismemberment, right? (I'm forgetting my Meyerpire facts here).

I don't know that killing a vampire would give the Shinigami any more years since they're already dead, but I can't give up hope that Eddie could be killed via Death Note.
Talisha Hibdonfrodolass on July 21st, 2010 09:36 pm (UTC)
Finally all caught up!
Light: *on phone* You're filming a movie? They made you dye your hair brown? You're acting beside a sparkling man?

EmeryBoard: Tamaki from Ouran Host Club?

THIS. Just... THIS. =D